Let’s imagine you move to three different cities, leave a company you’ve worked for your entire career, take jobs at two mega retailers, buy your first house, get married and fall in love with Disney World all within two-ish years.  That would be a lot of change for most of us.  Now let’s say you suddenly become a bonus dad to a little girl who adores you, but let’s add a few more things on top of that.  You travel for work a lot. You design and oversee renovations of the new house and your wife wants you to move in a girl and her baby.  You get the idea to start taking your creative side more seriously, you take custody of the baby, and your wife lets you know she’s pregnant, which by the way, she wants to know how you feel about homebirths.  You consider the idea that your new wife might become a SAHM and you find out sleeping in is not a thing when kids are around.  Round it out to about three-ish years later and you help deliver a baby in your bedroom, agree to go on four vacations in one year and cap it off by adopting your middle son.  That’s the cliff notes version of what D has experienced recently and he’s handled most of it graciously. 

Less than ten years ago this same guy was living on a couch in a basement for $50 a month, eating ValuTime pizza and essentially living a bachelor’s dream.  He bought a nice car with two doors that only holds petite people and he had never changed a diaper.  It’s ironic that when he first took an interest in me I was driving a minivan rental car for work.  He should’ve taken that as a sign. 

When you have a child, dating looks a little different.  You don’t get a lot of extra “fun” and “fluff” and eventually, your dates mostly include the kid too.  He never cared, in fact he embraced it.  I traveled a lot for work and he did too.  Sometimes our schedules would line up and our dates included awkwardly sitting near each other at company dinners, but hey, free food is our love language anyhow.  What I’m trying to say is, this was never a traditional relationship and neither of us really cared.  We embraced what seemed normal for us, but we’ve also had to navigate a lot of extra chaos that can make it a challenge to be newlyweds.  It’s weird to write that at this stage, but we haven’t even celebrated our second wedding anniversary yet. 

We filmed a little something to share our story for the sanctity of life weekend.  He told me to do the talking and said he’d just look supportive and in a lot of ways, that’s our life; I do most of the talking and he never stops being supportive.  He will joke that marrying me sucked all the fun out of his life: naps, video games and eating a bunch of junk food.  I like to think I gave him back his health and productivity, but you can be the judge.  I think it’s important to share his perspective and to give you context to MJ’s backstory too.  He will tell you he never woke up and felt a call or desire to move in a Jade, in fact he thought it was an idea only a crazy person would think of.  I’m certainly the impulsive one and he is analytical.  I feel things and he researches them, but I’m also a very persistent person.  Maybe a bit persuasive too.