“If it weren’t for allowing life to look different than I pictured, if I hadn’t just jumped on board to all your weird ideas and if I had really stuck to my opinion on moving in Jade, MJ wouldn’t be here. And I can’t imagine my life for one day without him.”

By the end of January, we knew MJ was likely not going back to Jade. Her willingness to cooperate in her case plan was non-existent and by this point, she too was pregnant again. The reality of what adoption looked like started to surround me. I was going to have two kids, 14 months apart.

She mumbled answers to everything as I sat fidgeting and uncomfortable. The judge looked at her with so much gentleness and told her she was very brave and that she was doing something that put her son over herself and maybe that’s when I realized we shared something in motherhood. We all put our kids first, whether we intend to or not.

Then the reality hit. I had no way to get ahold of her. The phone I had given her had wi-fi only. I had set up a free cell service, but I had to get the phone from her to make it work. It was getting colder out and I was worried about her. After all, wasn’t my goal to prevent her from being homeless? Here I was, six weeks out from having moved her in with us, and she was back on the street.

For the first time on this journey I could relate to Jade. A simple task that I needed help with caused someone to think less of me. Taxpayers had paid for that formula. Plenty of people in this country opposed that piece of plastic I used to pay for it, and sadly, I knew a lot of them. Serving the least of these takes on a new meaning when you get a minuscule glimpse of what their every day looks like. They are judged on their lifestyle just by the plastic they use at the store.

That was the last time she’d ever see her son. She didn’t kiss him goodbye, or shed a single tear. She just handed him over into the arms of two government employees and went back inside.

Do you ever wonder how people end up homeless? It’s because bad decisions or bad circumstances got them there and they can’t get out because the shelters are full or they don’t meet the requirements. Homeless people don’t come with a list of qualifications when they go to the shelter, they’re desperate.

I never caught that case worker’s name. She brought the van and unloaded them both, left me the business card and moved on. Mystery transport girl made a delivery that day, which forever changed my life and she may not even remember.

“Do you get paid for this, ”? “Are you related to her,”?
I can’t tell you how many times in the first few weeks after we took custody of Michael people would ask me these questions. It’s a bizarre thing to monetize a child…

I never caught that case worker’s name. She brought the van and unloaded them both, left me the business card and moved on. Mystery transport girl made a delivery that day, which forever changed my life and she may not even remember.

Except this wasn’t a fairy tale. This was a real life, smack-you-in- the-face, story of a broken home, with each chapter unveiling different things like poverty, mental health issues, children’s services, homelessness and abandonment.

I went to my bedroom and closed the door. I was overwhelmed, maybe even drowning, and we weren’t even 24 hours in. I found the business card that was left the day before and called our case worker, desperate for some help. I don’t remember the exact details, but I didn’t hear back that day. She was compassionate when we finally did talk. She thanked me and told me how much she appreciated what we were doing, but what she didn’t tell me was what the heck I was supposed to do with the girl and the baby.

I looked at the girl and smiled. She wouldn’t make eye contact, but said “hi” back. The baby was crying in the dining room, being rocked in his seat by my Rylee. “What’s your baby’s name?” I asked. “Michael,” she mumbled. My husband came out to help gather bags and the three of us walked back inside. “We’re glad you’re here”, I said as I gave her a tour of the house and showed her where she’d be staying. I turned to leave and said “let us know if there’s anything we can do to help”.