Kinship 101
“Do you get paid for this, ”? “Are you related to her,”?
I can’t tell you how many times in the first few weeks after we took custody of Michael people would ask me these questions. It’s a bizarre thing to monetize a child, but the sad reality is, kinship and foster care are sometimes entered as a form of extra income. Kinship and foster care are two very different things with two different sets of rules and regulations, both under the watch of the government. I started sharing this story for a variety of reasons, but one of the biggest was to open a door for conversations. People can ask questions and for the most part, we will be transparent. I personally had no idea what kinship care was until someone asked me to do it.
When most of us hear the word kin we think of family, in fact it’s defined as “one’s family and relations, related”. Family means a lot of things in 2019 and in our case, we were the people closest to Jade at the time she lost custody of her son. In the state of Ohio, the care refers to “temporary or permanent arrangement in which a relative or any non-relative adult who has a long-standing relationship or bond with the child and/or family, has taken over the full-time, substitute care of a child whose parents are unable or unwilling to do so”. In Michael’s case, paternity hadn’t been established officially, but had his biological dad wanted to attempt to take custody when Jade lost it, he could have. He never did. More on that another day. Kinship care is the most reliable form of placement for kids because it provides far greater stability than being in the foster care system. When Jade lost custody of Michael, she agreed to kinship placement. Option B was foster care since none of her family was in the picture. Keep in mind the magnitude of this; we had known her less than a month.
There were no classes, we can share pictures, very few “rules”, just a background check and some fingerprints. We’d had contact with the caseworkers involved and they petitioned for us to get emergency custody. We had home visits and a case plan after this, but I’ll talk about that later.
So, do we get paid? No. Do some people in kinship care get paid? Yes. There is a small stipend for individuals assuming the responsibility of kinship care, so long as they are within a certain income range based off federal poverty guidelines. I imagine this is a huge help to the grandmas who are retired and helping to raise their great-grand kids and I’m grateful they have this resource available. There is a pamphlet the Ohio Department of JFS has online that I stumbled across that outlines kinship care well and provides more detailed info. You can check it out here: https://jfs.ohio.gov/ocf/kinship_care.stm
Candidly, we get a few hundred dollars (under $300) for Michael on a debit card each month; I’ll be happy to share with you the stigma around using an OHIO EPIC card later as well. The money can be used for any of his needs; it covers a week and a half of daycare monthly, so as you see, we aren’t making any money. He could receive WIC formula and baby food until we received permanent custody and he is entitled to Medicaid until he turns 18 or we finalize our adoption.
When he came to our house with Jade, I let my friends on the internet know that we could use some diapers and some clothes for Michael. My friends and family delivered in ways I never expected; we didn’t buy a single diaper from September to January. People sent clothes, delivered wipes, bought Jade clothes (my mom literally bought her a brand-new wardrobe) and donated formula (WIC didn’t even come close to covering it). It was amazing for me to see such generosity; it really did take a village.
The first encounter I had with foster care started with donating Rylee’s old infant seat and bases to a lady a friend told me about. This sweet lady was taking home two kids from the hospital with pretty substantial injuries and she needed a seat for the baby. A baby, leaving the hospital with a stranger and no seat. These are the realities of foster care. Thankfully, I had a crib when Jade moved in, but JFS doesn’t bring everything to you when you take on the responsibility.
The lady with the car seat would run into me at the gym years later. We’d strike up a conversation, realizing we shared the car seat and she’d say she heard I moved in a girl. Later, she’d start a non-profit that would readily serve the area. She’d help foster and kinship families by providing them with the goods they needed to bring kids into their homes. She’d show love and compassion and meet countless needs, all while she continued to raise her own family and foster as well. Seeds of Hope is an amazing organization. They’re a local non-profit that we’re proud to support and hope you’ll consider supporting them as well. Check out their Instagram or Facebook; you’re just in time for their Christmas mission! If reading this blog has ever made you wish you could do more, but you’re not quite ready to move in a homeless girl, this is a tangible way to lighten the load of those walking a foster or kinship journey. Your contribution might be the difference in a kid having a bed the first night they’re placed in a strange home versus sleeping on a couch, something most of us, will never have to worry about.
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Thank you for sharing! I always want to find ways to give directly and knowing exactly where my donation goes. I will follow them and find out what they need. Your blogs are so inspiring! I’m one of Erin’s college roommates.
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